Category: Let's talk
Hi everyone. This is something that has been bugging me a bit as a result of the anorexia discussion on this board. For those who haven't read it, a Zoner confessed to being anorexic, and has been accused of posting simply to "seek attention". The people who accused her of this were obviously implying that this was a bad thing. This matches with our everyday use of the concept: when we say that someone is "just looking for attention", we are implying that whether the person is saying isn't worth worrying about. What I wonder is, why is seeking attention perceived to be such a sneer-worthy thing? I mean, let's say it is true, and the anorexic Zoner really did post what she did mainly to gain some attention. I ask, what exactly is wrong with that? So fine, she may be representing her problem in that case, but the fact is still that she feels that something is missing in her life, that she is hurting, and that she needs someone to listen to her. Is that not valid? Why would we want to stop taking her seriously as soon as we suspect that she might be looking for attention? She is *still* unhappy, and *still* needs us to listen to her. So maybe attention-seeking doesn't imply that there is no real problem at all. There still is, it just might just lie somewhere else.
Agreed, but in the grand scheme of things if it is attension that she was seeking she didn't have to lie, did she? That to me just seems so extreem. By the way let me clairify I am not saying I don't believe her and i am not saying I do either. The claim she makes is cerious one and it demands attension. Given the fact that this is an on line community, there is not much we can do for her unless she wants help and at that she will have to make most of the strides to recovery her self. She probabily won't have acces to the internet for a while into her recovery.. If you can be there for her then by all means but remember the compasity in which you can be there. Depression is something that can be shared. That is why some choose not to get involved.
D-
Oh, no, I didn't mean to imply that in this particular case the person was lying, that discussion was just what brought the general issue to my mind. Well, I don't think that most people, when they are looking for attention, consciously lie. I think it's more that these people are experiencing a general sense of loneliness, of depression, or anxiety, or worthlessness, and that is really hard to articulate. So perhaps in order to be actually able to express themselves at all, they need a "vessel", i.e. a concrete problem that can actually do the job and draw attention to the individual. So basically, what I'm trying to say is that perhaps sometimes bringing up an issue that isn't really the problem at all merely serves as a sort of flag with which to wave to other people. You need some sort of flag to draw attention to yourself, something you can use. I'm sorry I'm being so elusive and abstract here, but I'm just trying to understand what I mean myself while I'm typing it. Does this make any sense?
It does make sense. To me though if your going to choose a flag and all you want is attension then isn't that a strange flag to wave/? An on line community can be of little help in this case. I mean sure someone could convince her through words to get help but what are the odds. If eople rush to her aid then that is something that will become a reminder for the rest of the time they know her. strange flag indeed. If she does read this just know help if you really want it is out there, but I don't think there is anyone on here that is qualified to help you. If it is attension you seek, then shame on you, it is the same thing a certain gob has been abused for. There are better more mature ways of getting attension. sigh, as mad as it would make me if you were jockeying for attension, I sincerily hope that's all it is.
D-
Hm, yes, it is a very serious thing to bring up if it's not really true (again, Heather, we're not saying it's not, we're just talking about this in general). But you have to use whatever flag you have at your disposal, and anorexia, believe it or not, is something that really gets people's attention. Besides, things aren't always completely true or completely false. I mean, perhaps there usually is some truth to the issue people choose as their flag, and it's just overblown to solicit the strength of reaction they want.
well don't we all want attention from time to time? The fact is though, that if any one of us posted a message on the boards saying "I'm lonely, please can I have some attention", everyone would be quick to jump on it and say the person posting that is sad ... or whatever, whereas if you use a vehicle to seak that attention, i.e. by exagerating something about your life, or making something up, people are more likely to respond positively.
having attention? i've a super close friend is having depression and she reacting different from who she is. people keep saying that she's just pretend herself having depression and just want the attention from others. is that fare for her? she just simply display those depression name on her messenger but whats wrong with that? if you see someone with depress name, will you judge that person want to have the attention from others? thats not fare at all.
Seaking attention is selfish and that's why it's wrong. Selfishness isn't a good thing and obviously this person has no consideration for the people she may be affecting by her actions as long as she gets attention from them. This is why they're also wrong. Also people like her shouldn't be allowed free healthcare or to be put in front of jenuinly ill people. She's made herself ill, People with her condition or who inflict illnesses on themselves through their treatment of thereselves shouldn't be treated at the expense of someone who is ill through no fault of their own.